Looking Back in Anger: the Impact of Domestic Violence and Abuse on the Mother and Child Relationship.

The chapter will examine the impact of Domestic Violence and Abuse (DVA) on the mother and child relationship, and this focus will include a consideration of professional assumptions that abused mothers have reduced capacity to care for and protect their children. Douglas and Walsh (2010) highlight how mothers as victims of DVA are viewed as being un-protective of their children, especially where they remain in a violent relationship. This point has considerable implications for a mother as a victim, because the fear of her intimate partner may be further exacerbated by a fear of being judged by professionals, where an ultimatum might be to “leave him or lose the child”. The chapter aims to challenge the risks of assumptions and judgements about vulnerable women as mothers in the context of DVA, and will discuss the research evidence of protective strategies women use in the active protection of their children. This includes a need for a better understanding by all professionals working with children and their families as to why a mother “does not just leave”, as the point of leaving or having left an abusive relationship is the most dangerous (Fleury, Sullivan & Bybee, 2000; Kim & Gray, 2008). The chapter will also consider the links to DVA and the impact on young children and examine the issues related to trauma in early childhood, and the role of early help by agencies in supporting mothers and their children. The issue of childhood identities is considered in the context of the increasing recognition of the adverse experiences of living with DVA has on children, who may develop anxiety, depression, anger and aggression or symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) (Øverlien, 2010). Similarly, with the focus on childhood identities, the chapter acknowledges the belief that children who witness this experience of violence between their parents or carers, may develop traits of victim or perpetrator attitudes and behaviours within their own intimate relationships in adolescence and adulthood.